Tag Archives: Transformation

Choosing Your Possibility 💫

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” –Sir J.M. Barrie (creator of Peter Pan)


Marching forward. Destinal resolve.  I am on the path. 👣

I am living the adventure of my life each and every day!

It is full of glory & triumph. Not glory and triumph driven by the EGO, but rather the kind that concerns Self & personal mastery.

I am speaking of healing, growth, transformation, & evolution.  Continuously.

When I choose to employ my symbolic and cosmic sight I am empowered to appreciate each and every moment (even the dark ones). Moments string together in a beautiful interweaving and divinely flowing pattern. 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

As I step back to admire my work I see the bigger picture.  I see just how awesome it is what I have been making…

I have been making a BEAUTIFUL LIFE. 🌈

It is full of wonder, awe, & connectedness.  It all flows together making the most divine patterns that feed my Soul.  Because after all that is really what human life is about right? Feeding our Soul the gift of “experience” in all its sometimes seemingly messy chaotic perfectness.  Our Soul feeds on it all.  It doesn’t matter what the experience is. All human experience is divine and perfect to the Soul.

Therefore it is up to us in how we CHOOSE to experience it all.  We can choose beauty and divinity.

Or we can choose UGLINESS & SUFFERING... As always the choice is ours.

As we switch through the infinite facets of the mind we can continuously shape our very own experience.  Masters of our own genesis.

In each moment we are offered the chance to begin again.  Over and over.  This process of creation & re-creation is our human birth rite.  It is the obvious secret to a fulfilling life. Though most of us forgot this for long stretches of time.  Or even entire lifetimes…

I know I often forget…

Suffering after suffering we perceive it as… Instead of continual birth, death, and rebirth.

Always, it is our choice whether we stay in our suffering or if we choose to begin again.

The wheel is always turning.  Life is an evolution.  For all of us.  And we all choose the direction and the perception of this ever-turning wheel of experience.

So what do I choose today?  What direction am I going?  What facet of experience am I choosing to experience my life in?  What is my vein of existence today..?

 Today I choose FUN, AFFLUENCE, & MAGIC!


I choose FUN because I choose FUN!

I choose AFFLUENCE (abundance & flow) because I choose AFFLUENCE!

I choose MAGIC because I choose MAGIC!

What does FUN mean to me?  It means life is an infinitely friendly & adventurous game that is meant to be played full out with HEART & SPIRIT BLAZING. 💓 🔥 And with a MIND open to WONDER, AWE, & FREEDOM. 😇 This is harnessing the power of the eternal child that always lives within no matter our age or circumstance.

How about AFFLUENCE?  Affluence is the state of “abundance” & “flow” dancing together.  Even the missteps, mistakes, trips, and tumbles are part of this dance.  Because they always bring about new insight, new healing, new growth, and ever-evolving ongoing TRANSFORMATION. Even in the so-called mishaps of everyday life there is a perfectly divine flow of abundance if we choose to grasp the silver-lining no matter how turbulent the storm.  That silver-lining is tied directly to the rainbow and the pot of gold.  Grab it!  Hold it tight!  And let the STORM carrying you forth in your ADVENTURE!  🌪⛈🌦🌈

And last but definitely not least… MAGIC!  Mystery…. Intrigue!  Mystical happenings… Divine consciousness touching our lives. 🔮 🎆

Within magic lives TRUST.  Trust in life, trust in the process of life, trust in the unfolding of our life, trust in others, trust in ourselves.  It is knowing that when we take each step upon that HIGHER PATH the next stair magically appears just as our foot touches down again.  We don’t have to understand. As Roald Dahl said,

“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”

Instead, we just have to choose to BELIEVE and the magic is always there to catch us.  It is a SURRENDER to Self (with a capital “S”) and TRUST in the UNIVERSE. 🌌 🗽

In this magical way we are able to live life with Courage, Freedom, & Joy.  Because we consciously choose to know the Universe is always acting and reacting in our BEST INTEREST. And as we surrender to the superconscious we do not have to consciously understand the way it works.

Instead we follow SPIRIT & INTUITION and are EMBRACED by our AWESOME, UNIQUE, & MAGICAL PATH!

In this way we get to DANCE through life!  And when we fall… It’s all part of the magical journey and was actually perfectly coordinated, because all truly GREAT GAMES involve DRAMA. To be clear I mean drama as defined as a series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, and striking interests and results (as defined by Dictionary.com).

A life worth living happens through the beautifully cascading contrasts…

 


This photo was captured in the most magical way.  An incredibly talented street photographer at Urban Imagery randomly stopped me in San Francisco while I was buried in my phone responding to a work email.  In truth, I was doing my best to avoid myself and my emotions through workaholism. I was lost to myself and then the Universe intervened and pulled me into the present.

This happened approximately two days after I composed a majority of this piece of writing about Choosing Our Possibility.

It was a dream come true in actuality.  For years the FashionRake in me dreamed of being captured in something just like this. The full disclosure is I used to fantasize about being featured in “The Sartorialist” quite often. 😎

Even more potent is the fact that I was having a pretty rough & emotional stormy day.

The prior day I had let my own anger and frustration get the better of me and I wrongly let it out upon my colleagues who did not deserve it. I am far from perfect and have my fair share of breakdowns.  That morning I was still reeling from the incident & conflicting emotions.

Despite my tumultuous emotions… I chose the possibility of fun, affluence, and magic.

I even went through the effort of writing this possibility down that very morning in light of the fact I was personally having quite a difficult time in believing it.

I chose to forgive myself and was actually on my way to apologize to my coworkers .  To seek forgiveness without to complete the forgiveness that I sought inside.

Something magical always seems to happen when one stands in possibility.  It is like the world rearranges itself to act in accordance to the possibility that is spoken into existence.

Lo & behold my possibility of fun, affluence, and magic chose me back despite my emotions and a long-time dream magically came to fruition (in it’s own unique version).

This then translated into me being even more open to being transformed as I went from impromptu photoshoot to taking responsibility for falling out of integrity to those that I love and care for.

A day that had begun as suffering and self-oppression transformed into Self-liberation, fun, affluence, and magic.  All because I chose.

**This is my living testament to the power of choosing our possibility.**

In closing, I leave you with an alchemical opportunity... 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕

What possibility are you choosing for yourself today? 💫

In Gratitude, Alchemy & Service,

Justin David Carl | LifesRake 🌒

P.S. After reading this you may be wondering if every day is magic, rainbows, and unicorns for me… More days than ever are now, but I still have my down days too. And I believe it is important to emote on those days so that you can be cleansed by your own emotions.  See this article on sorrow for the other end of the spectrum.


P.P.S. A huge part of SUSTAINABLE & ongoing TRANSFORMATION is CONSISTENCY. Here is an easy way to stay consistent… Get a partner! 👥  Join me & we will transform together!

Sign up for my newsletter & I will keep bringing you fun & fascinating ways to keep the fire of transformation burning hot! 🔥 🌒 🔥

Sign up right here! 👇🏼

Join the alchemical ADVENTURE aka ALCHEMIZED:

 

OMG Dragon Asking For Support 🐉 🙏🏼

If you are confused about what this is and stumbled upon this by accident it is related to this post.


awakeningbeginsthumbnailFB

Video link: https://www.facebook.com/lifesrake/videos/497194743819624/ 🎥


For context my nickname at work and among close friends and family is “Dragon” and our company is nicknamed “OMG” which is short for ohmygreen.

This is the email & work-chat (Slack) message I sent to my company colleagues asking for support:


Good morning my dear OMG-fam!

First, I want to acknowledge our illustrious leader Captain Kirk @Michael for always encouraging my personal growth and continuously providing pathways for it.

For as long as I can remember I have had this dream to be a transformation artist & leader. I didn’t even understand the dream until I began meditating & did Landmark (both gifts from @Michael & OMG).

A childhood friend offered to make a Vision Video for my blog. As part of my commitment to giving back to OMG I presented the idea of making a vision video for OMG to Michael as a way I could live my personal vision (transformation artist & leader) within OMG. He graciously embraced the idea. And the OMG vision video is now close to being done. 🙌🏼

This was a huge step for me. You see I come from a very DARK past… Aka Hollywood nightlife. In that world it was all about EGO, drugs & alcohols, greed, superficial beauty, covetousness, and the last thing you did was SHARE.

So even though my EGO did not want to share the idea of a VISION video because in the world of ego it would be competing with my own personal vision video for my blog… I did it anyway.

I did it because I am ready to heal. I did it because I have chosen to live a new possibility — the possibility of being a GREAT FAMILY-MAN. This includes my personal family AND my professional family (OMG). Part of being family is SHARING.

OMG has been my REDEMPTION. It has been my FAMILY to heal with.

Another thing I have come to recognize is that I still have growth & learning to do around ASKING FOR & RECEIVING support from anyone.

So I am using the OMG-starship as a vehicle to travel through this personally confusing & scary opportunity to heal around asking for & receiving support .

@Michael told me nearly 2 years ago that I should share my writing & my videos with the OMG team. Back then I was too scared.

I am still scared. But I am going to embrace the fear this time.

I wanted to humbly ASK for the support of the OMG-family to live my artistic vision .

I recently released a prelude to a vision video for my blog here:



I set a personal goal of getting 10k views. I’m a little over 8k right now.

This is me [your OMG 🐉 ] ASKING my family to support my personal artistic vision & goal.

It would truly mean the world to me if you “liked” & “shared” my video — “An Awakening Begins”.

In deep gratitude,

Justin 💓 🐉


Again… If you are confused about what this is and stumbled upon this by accident it is related to this post.


A huge part of SUSTAINABLE & ongoing TRANSFORMATION is CONSISTENCY. Here is an easy way to stay consistent… Get a partner! 👥

Join me & we will transform together! Sign up for my newsletter & I will keep bringing you fun & fascinating ways to keep the fire of transformation burning hot! 🔥 🌒 🔥

Sign up right here! 👇🏼

Join the alchemical ADVENTURE:


 

Breakthrough to Bewilderment

“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” —Rumi

Create for the perfect receiver. The one who will get everything that you are trying to convey with no explanation. Dig deep. Grab the stuff of truth. Your truth. And bring it forth to bear without shame or alteration.

So often I find myself judging my creative work as it is coming out. “Will others understand and like it?” I ask before I even put it into form. When I am in that space of creativity I’ve already lost. Lost myself. Lost my art. Lost my unique flame of creation.

[image source]

So I dive back down into the depth. The unknown. The unseen. And I float. I lose myself in my abyss so as to loosen myself from the constraints the external cares place upon me. I hang myself upside down. Let the all the stuff I am carrying fall out of my pockets. Upend my thoughts and feelings. I release the disappointments of the past, present, and future. Renewal. Self-renewal. Return to my vision. The one I was born with. The one that has always been there. The one I have spent so much time running from. The one I am beginning to embrace with ever-increasing conviction. And I stand in it. Upside down. I let the vision consume me. I let it break me. Break me through all the self-imposed barriers I’ve accumulated. Through self-crucification I find renewal. As I sacrifice my ego I return. I return to personal power. I return to self-integrity. The inner citadel that is always there — the inner home.

As I hang out, arms dangling, thoughts un-jangling. Release. Surrender. The tide washes the grime away. The equinox of darkness passes. The light begins to return. Emotional purification. Intellectual clarity. True-flame Spirit. The golden path to creative integrity in the world shows itself once again. I walk my path. A unique legacy. I know my past. I’ve seen. I shed the unwanted weight. Lineage-breaker. I can see. Free to blaze a new trail. Free to share from that innocence and excitement of pure bewilderment. Goodbye cleverness. Hello awe.

[image source]

I think I am finally understanding that quote by Rumi that I’ve ruminated over since stumbling upon it. I always prided myself on my “cleverness.” I was ego-attached to it. How could I sell something I was so beholden to? Something I considered a part of my identity. Now I see that it was a suit of armor I dressed my true self in so that I would be safe from the the outer world. But in my self-protection I hid my true self away. From others. From myself. Ego-driven, I become lost to myself in my clever-suit. I unknowingly hurt others as I bumbled about ironclad. And I dumbly wondered why others were offended. But my vision and understanding were so limited. I could hardly see out of the protective visor. My range of sight hindered. So of course I crashed into others. Causing unnecessary and underserved pain. Forgive me. For I could not see.

[image source]

I take off my helmet. Free my consciousness. I shed my suit of cleverness. Liberated. Unconditional love & compassion for myself and others begins to blossom. Wow! I am so light now! Floating in bewilderment…


 

Connecting to Life: Redemption of the Warrior

 

fullsizerender-1(Pictured: Emperor card in the Voyager deck)


Are you powerfully connected to yourself and others in the present moment? 

My father wrote me a virtual letter in which he told me that he was thrown down the stairs as a child by a family member (his father) just like I was by my older brother. After reading this I wondered if this shared childhood experience was where the character of our lives was born. I know this was the moment I decided that I would no longer allow myself to be at the mercy of another. I chose to become strong and no longer be vulnerable. So strong that I would block my very own family with my mind’s diamond hardness. Better to be safe and invulnerable even if it means closing myself to deep connection and love. Surface level love where I don’t have to be at risk of being harmed seemed so much safer and better.

Stairs going down represents the subconscious to me. My father was thrown by his father down into the collective unconscious. I was thrown by my older brother down into collective unconscious. As I was swallowed into the abyss I chose to become a warrior.  An overachiever. This was the only way I could survive such hurt. I would fight. I would grow strong. I would be the exception in our family. The extra-ordinary.

It was so much safer to be loved for my achievements. As long as I was pursuing my own greatness I was invulnerable to really being hurt. I was protected by my own ambition and self-centeredness. As I continuously strove for the future I was no longer at the mercy of the double-edged sword of being loved/hurt for just being. The present moment of time couldn’t catch me in any vulnerability, for I was rarely there.


With my own sense of significance I wrapped myself tight in armor that defended me against being vulnerable to those I so desperately wanted to experience love from. A defense strategy built by a scared child. Brave and necessary at the time, but let us look at the effects of this child’s defense strategy played out over my life and in my relationships.

It led me to close a deep and important part of myself to others. I would no longer allow myself to become too connected or too present. For in deep connection that is where the danger of being hurt lies. So I always held back. Or lived in the future. I always stayed self-centered. I always protected my heart with the might of my mind. I faked deep connection with others. I was even able to fake this deep connection with others to myself most of the time. So cunning was my mind.  Saying and speaking words of love and connection, but my actions told another story. Always focused on myself, my own growth & healing, my career and my personal/professional development. Connection and love with my family and loved ones always in second place (or lower). Rarely allowing myself to really just be with loved ones, be loved by loved ones, and love my loved ones.

My father’s letter shared how he wished he had spent more time just being in the moment of life and love with his loved ones. I see how I have mimicked him in this way in almost all of my relationships. With significant others. With my family. With my friendships. Even professional and casual relationships. Basically with all of my relationships. Never allowing myself to connect too deep or become too present. Despite trying to convince myself otherwise. Always lying to myself saying that I deeply connect with others, when in truth I am always holding back or always grasping for something in the future. Always in fear of being vulnerable. That fear of vulnerability always keeps me aloof and unconnected. It pulls me out of the present.  And it always leads me back to self-centered thoughts and actions I “think” will protect me. Believing that by being self-centered I am protected and safe. All an illusion. This belief system has led me to be so ashamedly selfish in most (if not all) of my relationships.

I don’t know where to go from here. I am scared. I am unfamiliar with allowing myself to be deeply vulnerable. I am unsure of how I can fully open the flower of my heart to the light of love. The brightness of love is so scary. Will it burn me again?

Well, in truth, I may be burned again. And I guess I have to accept that with courage and compassion. I now choose love and connection. I now choose presence in my life and in my relationships.  I will fail at all of this most assuredly.  But I’m going to fail forward into ever greater presence, vulnerability, love, and connection.  And each time I fail, I will practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness.  For I know now that failure is an experience, not a person. And in each failure there is the seed of incredible growth if I choose to water it.

I am committed to life.  Life is lived in the present.  Not in some future where I am invulnerable or in some past moment that I can never relive.

I now recommit to the divinity of life — knowing one of its greatest gifts is experienced through the connection to others and to oneself.  And the gift of connection is experienced through the ever-evolving present moment of now.


 

The Power of Language & Story

Language dictates consciousness. -Nietzsche

I write to transform myself and my life. The power of words is indisputable. Everything in our lives exists through words and language. It is not until we actually begin to harness language that our very own existence comes into being. We cannot describe our own life and experience until we have words. Even if we have memories from before we had language they are not called into being until we have the words to recreate the memory. They have scientifically proven that memories are recreated in our brain every time we bring them up in our minds. Basically, the memory does not exist until we call it into being with language in our minds.

We literally create our world through language. Without language we cannot name our feelings, actions, or the objects that make up our lives. This is so incredibly powerful! This is why language and story is so powerful. For better and for worse.

Words and language are strange and magical. We have words that at their base essence mean similar things, but evoke completely different experiences mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is the duality of life and language.  The following quote is an example of this.

Language has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. -Paul Tillich

If we create the story of our lives from the words we speak in our minds and to others we have the infinite power to recreate our story again and again until it actually empowers us. That does not mean it needs to be all delicate and beautiful cherry blossoms. If we watch any good movie or read any good book it is through the ranging story arc that we feel and become enraptured. It is through the full expression of emotions and experience that we are drawn in and able to immerse ourselves in the experience.

So I guess what I am saying is don’t be afraid to have darkness in your stories. Have the darkness. Show the pain. But let the pain and darkness lead you to a place of empowerment. Harness those fucked up experiences and make them something meaningful and transformative. Show others (and yourself) the beauty in the darkness.

Case in point: My older brother beat the living shit out of me throughout a good portion of my childhood. Though this really sucked at the time, it made me who I am today. It made me incredibly strong. It was the fire against which my very strength was tempered, allowing me to become mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually resilient at an incredibly young age. It was through sharing the intensity of that transformative experience in my college application that got me to into Stanford — the biggest dream of my adolescence. If I hadn’t had that experience I am not sure if I would have been so driven to make it into Stanford.  Neither would I have had the courage or the actual dark and enthralling story of transformation that inspired Stanford admissions to give me a shot.

I could have used that experience to tell a story that left me powerless. I could have used that experience with my older brother to oppress myself and hold myself back. Instead I took that darkness and turned it into something that made my life greater. I used that experience as fuel for myself in my pursuits. I worked to make that story one of triumph and transformation. And I did. Still to this day I call upon this story. To remember that even the shittiest things can lead to the grandest of things if we choose to find the strength and beauty that always lies hidden within.  We always have the power to unlock and free ourself from any story.

There are two important pieces of language and story that can serve us in finding empowerment. If you haven’t found the silver lining in the experience keep looking. It is always there or the story isn’t over. Let the experience drive you to make it a story worth retelling with a sense of victory. Until you transform yourself from victim to victor in your own stories you are oppressing yourself.

The truly magical thing about life and our stories is that we can forever retell them and remake ourselves in the process. This is alchemy through narrative. We can call into being whomever we choose. We can literally shape the essence of our being and our life as our very own author. It is paramount to be aware that we do this with every experience we have. There is what happened and there is the story and meaning we attach to what happened. The story and the meaning we attach (consciously or unconsciously) is what creates our personal reality.

Still to this day I am discovering disempowering stories I tell about myself and my life. I am working on rewriting them and crafting a truly powerful story about myself and my life. I will likely spend the rest of my life doing this. And that is awesome.

There is always great awe, wonder, and fascination to be found in our own personal transformation. The magic and power of re-creation will always be alive and available in my mind, heart, body, and spirit as I go through this process again and again.

What characters and roles do you call into being with your stories about your life? The ones you tell yourself and the ones you tell others? Do your stories leave you powerless or empowered?

In alchemy & service,

Justin David Carl | LifesRake 🌒


A huge part of SUSTAINABLE & ongoing TRANSFORMATION is CONSISTENCY. Here is an easy way to stay consistent… Get a partner! 👥  Join me & we will transform together! Sign up for my newsletter & I will keep bringing you fun & fascinating ways to keep the fire of transformation burning hot! 🔥 🌒 🔥

Sign up right here! 👇🏼

Join the alchemical ADVENTURE aka ALCHEMIZED: