[Even when my aim was off my Dad love & believed in me anyways.]
What makes a great FATHER?
I think two keys are UNCONDITIONAL LOVE & CONSISTENT MENTORSHIP.
Being loved even when you make mistakes and consistently being gently mentored at how to aim & re-aim at a LIFE WORTH LIVING makes a truly GREAT FATHER.
When I went through SEVERE DEPRESSION a few years ago and was considering SUICIDE I could actually openly talk to my father about it. I did not have to hold anything in secret. I shared it all. Everything I was thinking, considering, & feeling. In all its darkness. Without shame or withholding.
He didn’t judge me, tell me I was wrong, try to fix me, or try to tell me what to do. He just patiently LISTENED to me. He just gently & unconditional loved me. He did this weekly for months as I went through the darkest time of my life.
Fortunately, because of him and the rest of my incredibly unconditionally loving family I made it through this DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL and am now gratefully living the LIFE OF MY DREAMS.
And one of the biggest reasons I am now actuating living this DREAM-LIFE is because my Dad gifted me with daily mental conditioning.
Every day he would mentor my mind with three specific training routines. He started this when I was very young. At least by the age of 5. Maybe even earlier.
First, he would ask me to tell him THREE THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR. They could be anything. He never judged. It could be serious or silly. I just had to give him 3 things I was grateful for. Whatever that was for me that particular day. And after each gratitude he would give me a genuine HUGE POSITIVE RESPONSE. That usually sounded like “That is GREAT, Justin!” or “Wow! So awesome! Good work!”
Secondly, he would ask me to tell him THREE THINGS I LEARNED. Again, it could be anything. I could tell him about some superpower my favorite superhero had or how I learned to do subtraction. With every learning I shared he gave me such an explosively happy & excited response I couldn’t help but feel like one of the SMARTEST people in the world — whether or not this is true remains highly controversial… 😛
Lastly, he would ask me to share THREE MISTAKES I MADE & WHAT I LEARNED FROM THEM. He would always remind me that “a mistake is NEVER a mistake if you LEARN something from it.” Again, my mistakes could be anything — big, small, silly, or serious. All I had to do was admit the mistake and then find the silver-lining learning and the gift of opportunity hidden within.
Basically, my DAD regularly coached me to live the GROWTH MINDSET in a subtle loving fatherly way.
For periods of my life I forgot these three mind-training techniques and become mentally out-of-shape. Largely due to ALCOHOL, DRUGS, and poor choices of ENVIRONMENT.
All of which led me to my deep depression & suicidal time in my life.
But my Dad never said a word. He let me take my path & travel my unique journey no matter how radically different it was from his own. He has never drank or done drugs in his entire life.
[Even when I took a completely different path he loved & believed in me…]
My Father never forced his sobriety upon me. He let me live however I chose.
He never told me what to do.
Instead he just patiently LOVED & BELIEVED IN ME. I like to think that he always knew I would reawaken to my own brilliance no matter how far off course I went.
I also like to think that I have actually reawakened to my brilliance in the last few years. And now I think it is finally really starting to show in all areas of my life (i.e. living my Stanford startup dream while simultaneously living my transformation artist, writer, blogger/vlogger dream).
A large part of that is because I have re-instilled this childhood mental conditioning my father entrained into me throughout my childhood along with other daily nano-habits and actually consciously set myself up for consistent vision-living.
Now these three daily mental conditioning techniques keep me empowered despite the ever-changing weather of life. They can actually turn a dark day of breakdown into a day of brilliance & breakthrough through sheer rote execution. They literally create the space & mental reprogramming to paradigm shift.
Today on Father’s Day I honor you DAD! My deep gratitude for all the love and blessing you graciously bestowed upon me and many others in our family.
[My younger brother Morgan & his son Simon, me, my Dad (maroon), and my uncle Paul (another important Father-figure in my life).]
Thank you, Dad. I am truly proud to be your son.
In alchemy & service,
P.S. A huge part of an empowered & enlivened life is consistency. I would be truly honored to be a part of your consistent ever-evolving transformation. Please sign up for my newsletter ALCHEMIZED and I will be your journey-partner in the adventure of consistent life transformation! 😀
SPECIAL NOTE: I am not a Father to another human yet, but I read this book all about the GROWTH MINDSET and wholeheartedly believe every parent should read it. I actually think EVERYONE who wants to be at the top of any and all areas of their life should read it.